How to Tame a Beastly Lord (Happy Ever Regency Book 2) Read online

  Only regret what was.

  “I shall consider your request,” Adrian forced out through clenched teeth as his body ached to leave the presence of her pitying eyes. It made him feel worse than he already did and reminded him of the disappointments he had brought upon his home. The wrong brother had survived as Adrian was certain that none of his elder brothers would have allowed Ravengrove to fall into this abyss of despair. No, they would have found a way to continue on despite their pain.

  Turning toward the west wing, Adrian walked away at a brusque pace, wanting nothing more than the solitude of his charred chamber. The scent of fire was still in the air, and Adrian wondered for the thousandth time if it might only be his memory and not the scorched walls surrounding him.

  His movements were far from fluid as he changed into dry clothes for his muscles clenched and unclenched almost spasmodically with the thought of all that once had been and all that had been lost. Most days, Adrian managed to soldier onward, ignore the memories that lingered and find a way to put one foot in front of the other. But sometimes, a moment he didn’t see coming would steal the breath from his throat and pierce his heart anew, sending pain into every fiber of his body.

  Somehow, Mrs. Perry had conjured such a moment, chasing away all the calm this morning’s sparring session had brought him. Somehow, he needed to retrieve it, and there was only one place that had proved to do so in the past.

  Slipping from his chamber, Adrian left the west wing and headed back downstairs. Out of the corners of his eyes, he caught sight of Hammond, Ravengrove’s trusted butler, as he hovered near the main hall.

  Thin as a stick and as ancient as the large oak growing in the back gardens, Hammond had been in the employ of Ravengrove’s masters for years on end. His dark hair was now almost white and had receded in such a way to leave behind only a circular crown. Still, his green eyes were as sharp as they’d ever been, and Adrian had no doubt that no matter how silently Adrian moved, Hammond was always aware of his whereabouts.

  His now-booted feet made barely a sound as Adrian headed down the corridor and then stopped outside a thick door on well-oiled hinges. It had been his father’s study and, even today, Adrian could not enter without a moment of pause. Why, he could not say. However, a part of him always felt like an intruder and so, at least silently, he needed to ask his father’s permission to step across the threshold.

  It was ludicrous, truly! Still, was it not because he felt his father nearby that he often came here? To stand by the window or sit in his father’s upholstered chair? The same way he sometimes heard his mother’s laughter when he set foot into the ballroom? Was that not why he had chosen to spar there of all places? Not because it provided sufficient room, but because a ghost lingered there?

  It seemed ghosts lingered everywhere in Ravengrove. However, some places brought them particularly close, in a way that Adrian could almost hear them if he closed his eyes. Sometimes, he was certain he smelled his mother’s perfume, but perhaps that was only a memory. The same way the smell of smoke and fire always lingered nearby although the fire at Ravengrove had been extinguished eight years ago.

  As neat and tidy as Ravengrove had always been under the watchful eyes of Mrs. Perry, his father’s study had always resisted to follow suit. The moment the old door swung open, Adrian’s eyes fell on high-stacked towers of books and ledgers, situated in the corners of the room as well as on the edge of the large desk. Papers lay strewn about and it seemed, for all intents and purposes, that Ravengrove’s master had been hard at work here only a few moments ago. As though Adrian’s father had been disturbed in his task—perhaps by one of his unruly sons—and hastened away to return later and finish what he had started.

  It was a comforting thought, and it brought such longing to Adrian’s heart that he had to avert his gaze. He stepped up to the window and looked out at the extensive grounds he knew so well. A lone candle stood on the windowsill, and he lit it as he did so often and then simply stood there, hands linked behind his back. It was a ritual, something that brought him peace.

  If only a little.

  Unbidden, his thoughts turned to his own life and Adrian found himself searching for parallels between himself and his father. Unfortunately, he came up empty. As much as a part of him wished he could follow in his father’s footsteps and manage the affairs of Ravengrove, see to its people and ensure that all was well, Adrian did not dare.

  After years of seeking out Death, Adrian knew that he was no longer the man he had once been. He was no longer fit to live among civilized people. He could no longer walk among them and pretend to belong. And so he had retreated to the shadows and left the affairs of Ravengrove in the trusted hands of others.

  It made his own life seem even more pointless. Perhaps—

  Frowning, Adrian stilled, his thoughts cut off by the soft echo of footsteps as they headed down the corridor toward his father’s study. There was a certain urgency to them and he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they did not belong to anyone here at Ravengrove.

  A visitor. But who? And why?

  Adrian could not recall when last a visitor had come to Ravengrove. Not often since the fire. Not often in the past eight years.

  The footfalls drew closer, and it was clear that whoever had come knew where to go. Since Hammond was no doubt aware of Adrian’s whereabouts—as he always was—had he shared that knowledge with the visitor? But even if, would he not have insisted the caller await his master’s arrival in the drawing room? Adrian was certain of it, and so it was reasonable to assume that whoever had come to Ravengrove so unexpectedly had gone against Hammond’s instructions.

  Who would be bold enough to do so? Adrian mused. And why did he not hear Hammond’s footsteps following in pursuit? Who would Hammond allow into the private areas of Ravengrove without even feeling the need to inform his master?

  Adrian’s eyes closed as the footsteps momentarily paused outside the door to the study. “Grant,” he whispered into the stillness of the room, surprised to feel a small spark of affection jump to life at the thought of his old friend.

  Grant Barrett, Earl of Wentford.

  Years had passed since they’d last seen each other. Still, long ago, they had been close. As he himself had been the youngest of four brothers, Adrian had relished the thought of being the oldest. A few years younger, Grant had idolized him, following Adrian’s guidance without hesitation. Over time, their relationship had become one of equals while the bond that had developed between them in those first few years had remained unchanged.

  The door slid open silently, and Adrian could sense his old friend’s tension as though he were gazing upon his face and could see the deep crease between his brows. Something was wrong. Why had Grant come here today?

  Footsteps entered the room, and then Adrian could feel his friend’s eyes upon him. Silence lingered until Adrian broke it. “What are you doing here?” His voice came out harsher than intended. Still, Adrian did not want his friend to remain longer than needed. He wanted him to say what he came here to say and then leave.

  It was better that way.

  A familiar chuckle rose from Grant’s throat, and Adrian felt an unexpected relief that his friend did not take affront at his tone. “I need your help,” Grant said, not bothering with niceties.

  Adrian’s shoulders tensed. No one had needed his help in a long time. Well, perhaps that wasn’t completely accurate. Emery had needed him, and yet, his friend was now dead, nonetheless, proving that it was far better if no one relied on him for assistance of any kind.

  Inhaling a deep breath, Adrian turned to face his friend, his gaze trained on Grant’s face, trying to see what it was that had brought his old friend here today.

  His hair still looked as ruffled as ever, telling Adrian that Grant still hadn’t shaken the habit of running his hands through his hair whenever he was agitated. It also told him that there was something to be agitated about. Something that had left him without options, for only a desperate man would have come here. “My help?” Adrian asked, pained by the thought that all his friend would find here today would be disappointment.

  “Yes, something happened,” his friend said, strong emotions in his voice that made Adrian’s skin crawl, “and I’ve come here today because I need your help.”

  Adrian snorted in disbelief as he watched his friend close the door, his moss-green eyes returning to meet his, hope resting there. Blast it! “Why would you come to me?” Adrian demanded, wondering how Grant could not know the man he had become. “You know very well that I am not fit to do anything these days. I’m of no help to anyone.” At least, Grant should know that.

  His friend swallowed, then blurted out, “Nessa is alive.”

  It was as though lightning had struck, and Adrian could barely keep himself from flinching. He remembered well the devastation Grant had felt when his wife had been swept away, never to be found again. It had been a rare moment when Adrian had been able to relate to his old friend. After his own loss, he knew well what it felt like to have someone dear ripped from one’s life without warning, without the chance to say goodbye, without the opportunity to fight for them.

  Grant had felt all that, too, when his beloved wife had been taken from him…but not for good it would seem.

  What wouldn’t Adrian give to have his family returned to him? Even if only one of them?

  “She was pulled from the sea three years ago and has been in an abbey up north,” Grant explained, disbelief shining in his green eyes as though he feared it might not be true after all. “She does not remember who she is.” He swallowed. “She doesn’t remember me.” His eyes dimmed, and fear made him grip the backrest of the tall armchair facing the old desk. “I frightened her,” he mumbled as his gaze rose to meet Adrian’s. “I…I was so overwhelmed when I saw her, I simply had to…I mean, I knew she didn’t remember. I knew that. But in that moment…I had to feel her. She shrank back, begging me not to touch her.”

  At his friend’s open words, Adrian felt the cloak of detachment he’d draped across his shoulders slide to the floor. He could not deny that he felt honored by the trust Grant bestowed upon him, daring to lay his heart open in such a way. “It was one moment,” he counseled, seeing hope and fear war in his friend’s gaze. “Nothing more.”

  Grant nodded, and more words spilled from his lips as he shared with Adrian all the fears that lived in his heart. And for the first time in years, Adrian was faced with another’s loss. Slowly, his heart began to remember what it felt like to care and so he did what he could, urging his friend to seize this chance and reclaim the woman he loved.

  Grant gritted his teeth before guilt came to his face. “There is a further complication. I…almost a year ago, I…I remarried.”

  Unable to hide his astonishment, Adrian stared at his friend before he began to shuffle through the papers on his father’s desk, his mind absent. “Then you need a solicitor’s help, not mine.”

  “I already spoke to Mr. Thatcher,” Grant replied hastily as though time was of the essence. “And he confirmed that my second marriage is void because without Nessa’s passing, our marriage never ceased to be binding.”

  “That is good news for you,” Adrian commented, wondering about the innocent, young woman whose life was about to be destroyed.

  Again, Grant ran his hands through his hair as though he wished to pull it out by the roots. “It is,” he agreed, and frustration stood clear in his eyes, “but not for my new wife.” He closed his eyes as though in pain. “She’s with child.”

  A dark sense of foreboding sent a chill down Adrian’s spine as he looked up and met his friend’s pleading gaze. “What will you do now?” he asked as suspicion drilled deeper into his soul. “Why have you come? Speak plainly.”

  “Very well.” Grant nodded, a hint of relief in his eyes to have reached the moment of truth. “I have come to ask you to…protect her…and the child.”

  Adrian felt his muscles tense. “Protect her?” he demanded, a low growl in his voice as he stared at his friend.

  “Yes.” Desperate determination shone in Grant’s eyes as he held Adrian’s glare, his own unwavering, unflinching.

  Adrian drew in a slow breath, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “I will not marry her.”

  His friend’s groan was one of overwhelming despair. “Adrian, please. I don’t know what else to do. She’ll be ruined, and our child will be a bastard. I do not want such a fate for them.”

  Grant’s plea broke through the defenses around Adrian’s heart, and he felt a pang of guilt, slowly mixing with the desire to help his friend.

  Still, this idea was ludicrous. He couldn’t possibly…he couldn’t. He simply couldn’t. It was preposterous! The poor woman would probably flee his estate within the hour of her arrival. After all, he was called the Beast of Ravengrove for a reason. He was no good company for anyone, least of all, a heartbroken woman who was carrying a child and was yearning for a husband who’d never been able to love her.

  Grant’s gaze remained on his, waiting, hoping.

  Adrian gritted his teeth and wished he could simply stride from the room. Still, he could not, and so he found himself leaning forward, eyes fixed on his friend, hands resting on his father’s sturdy desk and asked, “Why me?”

  Surely, there were more suitable men to be found in England!

  Grant’s mouth opened and closed, and Adrian could see that his friend had spent many hours attacking this problem from all sides before he had chosen to come to Ravengrove. In the end, the reason he gave was one that brought down another one of Adrian’s defenses. “Because I trust you. Because you’ve always looked out for me. Because I know they would be safe with you.”

  Adrian could have groaned at the memories Grant’s words brought forth. Memories of feelings he’d long since abandoned and buried for good. Instead, he stepped back and returned to his spot by the window, relieved to avert his gaze and have a moment to himself.

  “I’m only asking you to marry her pro forma,” Grant continued, clearly sensing the new weakness his answer had brought to Adrian’s resolve, “so that our child will be born in wedlock and society has no reason to shun them. You’d only have to sign your name, and they’d be forever protected by it. That is all I ask.”

  Long ago, Adrian had abandoned the idea of marriage and family, and it was only too obvious that Grant remembered those words. In truth, it was not that Adrian did not long for a family, perhaps even a wife. However, he had suffered the loss of a family once. He could not do so again. He wouldn’t survive. His body might, but everything else that he was would be lost.

  Grant knew that. Or at least, he knew that Adrian did not seek the kind of love Grant shared with his wife and had thus reasoned that it would only be a small sacrifice on Adrian’s part to enter into a marriage of convenience.

  Of course, his reasoning was not wrong. Still…

  “No woman deserves to live in a tomb,” Adrian said without turning from the window, reminding his friend that Ravengrove was not a place where happiness was found.

  “Please, Adrian,” Grant went on undeterred as though he had not heard a word Adrian had said. “They deserve better than to be cast aside, and it is not within my power to protect them. All I could do would be to provide for them financially, but you know as well as I do that that would only worsen the situation as far as society is concerned.”

  With each word, Adrian felt his resolve dwindle and fear surged through his heart. Inhaling a deep breath, he turned to look at his friend. “I’m the Beast of Ravengrove,” he said with a dark chuckle that held no humor. “What woman would willingly marry me? Have you even spoken to her about this?”

  Grant shook his head. “I came to speak to you first before getting her hopes up.”

  “Her hopes?” Adrian scoffed, wondering if his friend possessed functioning eyes or if he was so lost in his desire to solve this problem that he did not see what was right in front of him.

  “She’ll agree,” Grant assured him without hesitation. “She might look delicate and fragile, but there’s a hidden strength in Eugenie that—”

  Adrian froze as a cold chill gripped his body and he could feel the blood drain from his face. Eugenie.

  Taking note of his friend’s reaction, Grant broke off and his eyes narrowed. “Are you all right? Was it something I said? Was it…?” His gaze swept over Adrian’s face before realization dawned in his eyes. “Do you know her?”

  Never had Adrian met Emery’s little sister, but he’d heard of her. Many times. Countless times. Her brother had spoken of her with such love and devotion that a part of Adrian felt as though he did know her.

  Swallowing, he felt the fingers of his left hand reach for the small, red ribbon still tied around his right wrist. He felt the roughened texture, and his fingertips found the patches where blood had soaked the fabric and dried. A good luck charm that had saved his life and brought him back home.

  Him, not Emery.

  Adrian swallowed as he felt Grant’s gaze on him. “Perhaps I know of her,” he replied as a new tension gripped his body. “Is she the late Lord Pembroke’s daughter?”

  Grant nodded. “She is. Did you know him?”

  “Not him,” Adrian forced out through clenched teeth. “But I knew his son.”

  Emery.

  Again, Adrian saw his friend’s unseeing eyes stare back at him from underneath the small cot. Again, he saw the blood pool beneath his head. Again, he felt Emery’s loss as though his friend had just died a moment ago.

  Died in his stead.

  Again, Adrian’s fingers brushed over the small ribbon. You shouldn’t have done this! The thought echoed in his mind as it had many times over the past two years, and he wished with all his heart and soul that there was some way to undo what had happened. To return the ribbon and protect Emery from…